Beginning to feel the years

This morning as I let my body sink into savasana after my yoga practice, I played a song by Brandi Carlile. Her powerful voice gently lulled me into the earth, and as I felt my body sink into a haphazard relaxation she sang, “I’m beginning to feel the years, but I’m going to be okay, […]

Life was hard today 

As evidenced by the residual tears on my pillow and the fact that I am Google searching things Ernest Hemingway said while I lay in bed, today was a rough one. I woke up feeling lonely with a headache that would respond just enough to medication to be tolerable but not enough to let you […]

Number Ten

I was doing great. I was upbeat, I was present, I think you could even have called me peppy for a bit. I was unphased by my 10th brain surgery (11th surgery overall). I was singing Jason Mraz’s “Everything is Sound,” and taking the uncertain and unwritten future as a reason to stay firmly in […]

Update scmupdate

Many, many people showed up for me during my recent surgery, through messages, sharing joy, holding my hand, or sending love in various ways. Before I answer any nagging questions that tear at your gut or mine, I feel compelled to say thank you. From the very depths of my heart, so many have done […]

Purely Informational

WARNING: If you’re here for a moment of uplift, inspiring lesson, casual amount of snark, hijinks or hilarity, a heart to heart convo between my typing and your computer screen, some love, some anger, some anything but apathy, you’re in the wrong place. This post is just an update. All 4 of you consistent readers […]

Withstand

It hurt. I woke up, throbbing, beating, pounding. “Is it my heart?” I wondered to myself as fatigue took over my limbs. “It’s in my head, I can feel my heartbeat in my head. Wait, no, can I?” I suddenly remembered where I was, who I am. “Ah fudge,” I thought to myself, “it’s all […]

Live like you are living

There’s a phrase I have a conflicted relationship with. There’s songs about it, memes about it, stories about it, all with one motto: “Live like you were dying.” It’s some kind of an attempt to get us to live in the present, to conquer fear, to jump off that cliff we’ve never known we’ve always […]