Progress is a stupid son of a bitch

I recently thought I had made progress on the emotional side of healing. The physical side, well that was a mess, and my CSF just can’t seem to want to stay in my body so we do what we can do. And I secretly hope that Herbert hasn’t grown and I hope and hope that […]

Like a yo-yo

Sometimes I feel ok. Those times I think, alright if it is spinal fluid seeping out of your nose all day long, you’ll figure it out. Sometimes I feel sick, physically and that makes me sad and that’s not great but I medicate, literally, and then I feel ok. But mostly I feel sad. I […]

I’m goddamn f&%king miserable

I guess life is about expectations. If you set yourself up for success or failure by believing a certain outcome is imminent, if it doesn’t turn out how you anticipated you end up, well – disappointed. That’s why hope is such a dangerous thing. A beautiful thing, but a dangerous thing.  Usually when you start […]