Like a yo-yo

Sometimes I feel ok. Those times I think, alright if it is spinal fluid seeping out of your nose all day long, you’ll figure it out. Sometimes I feel sick, physically and that makes me sad and that’s not great but I medicate, literally, and then I feel ok. But mostly I feel sad. I […]

Update on a piss poor attitude and a desire to be a bit less haggard than I am

It was my first morning home from the hospital that I noticed it. A barely there drop of spinal fluid that shot out as I exhaled and sat up. “Aw crap” I thought to myself as I rummaged through the bag of undies and post-surgical instructions I had brought back from the hospital with me. […]

What’ll I do

There’s an episode of This American Life that features David Rakoff just before he died (here’s a link).  It was a live, theatrical version of the radio show in which the witty author, in his trademark biting tongue and powerful vocabulary, hilariously explained how he got by doing basic tasks after cancer took the use of […]

Live like you are living

There’s a phrase I have a conflicted relationship with. There’s songs about it, memes about it, stories about it, all with one motto: “Live like you were dying.” It’s some kind of an attempt to get us to live in the present, to conquer fear, to jump off that cliff we’ve never known we’ve always […]

What happened

While social media tends to fill in the gaps of the big moments of our lives a few people have asked what happened so I figured I could write it down here for you. Here’s what happened: I woke up January 8th with a tinge of nausea and a not quite rested head. I washed […]

The hair is the curtain of the skull

It was July, I was volunteering at my favorite youth leadership camp and feeling like, for the first week in a long time, I was comfortable in my own skin. The disconnection from my own personal reality and the immersion into the world of teenage leadership and empowerment was fulfilling and freeing. I had just […]

More lessons from a brain tumor

It’s been a weird few months to say the least. My health has yo-yoed around almost as much as my personal relationships. So now, as I sit here with the worst vertigo I’ve had in quite some time and on a week that has held great personal stress for me, I thought I’d share what […]

And there the grass grows soft and white, and there the sun burns crimson bright

When I was in high school for a time I did speech and debate. It’s not what you’re thinking, I wasn’t there to sharpen my argument tactics and skills, I was there to let a part of me out that had a hard time existing in the confines of an upper class high school. I […]