I was doing great. I was upbeat, I was present, I think you could even have called me peppy for a bit. I was unphased by my 10th brain surgery (11th surgery overall). I was singing Jason Mraz’s “Everything is Sound,” and taking the uncertain and unwritten future as a reason to stay firmly in […]
I try not to post when my posts will certainly be shrouded in negativity. I try to stay silent and stomach the worst of it on my own. I try not to burden others with the incessant failures and fissures in my life. I try to avoid the constant bad news. I do find myself […]
Sometimes I feel ok. Those times I think, alright if it is spinal fluid seeping out of your nose all day long, you’ll figure it out. Sometimes I feel sick, physically and that makes me sad and that’s not great but I medicate, literally, and then I feel ok. But mostly I feel sad. I […]
I’ve found a trend in my writing about letting go of control, and I suppose I thought that meant being totally fine in the face of whatever shit hit me directly in the face. Taking my face-shit contact with a smile. Ta da! There’s that shining good attitude. What I’m realizing now is the grief, […]
I should be asleep, or more likely doing the work that I carry around with me as I lackadaisically wander around my house. I go from room to room, hoping for some kind of inspiration or motivation. I should be working right now, there are things due tomorrow that I am not even close to […]
When I was recovering in the hospital my boyfriend brought me a sweater, one of his, to hold on to when he couldn’t be there. Recognizing that my family wanted to spend time with me in the hospital and visitor space was limited he bowed out gracefully the first night so that my scared mom […]
So the euphoria and tryptophan of Thanksgiving wore off, and left in their wake a horrible stomach flu that is spreading like wild fire to all of our friends and family. It also left behind a rather cranky, bloated, and easily annoyed b*tch…. Whoops, at least that positivity lasted about .2 seconds. I do what […]
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