I recently thought I had made progress on the emotional side of healing. The physical side, well that was a mess, and my CSF just can’t seem to want to stay in my body so we do what we can do. And I secretly hope that Herbert hasn’t grown and I hope and hope that […]
I guess life is about expectations. If you set yourself up for success or failure by believing a certain outcome is imminent, if it doesn’t turn out how you anticipated you end up, well – disappointed. That’s why hope is such a dangerous thing. A beautiful thing, but a dangerous thing. Usually when you start […]
It was my first morning home from the hospital that I noticed it. A barely there drop of spinal fluid that shot out as I exhaled and sat up. “Aw crap” I thought to myself as I rummaged through the bag of undies and post-surgical instructions I had brought back from the hospital with me. […]
Today is officially the worst day ever. You were thinking the same thing?! I know, right? It’s the first Monday after the manipulative time gods in the government decided to jack up my already f-ed sleep schedule for whatever reason. And yes, I feel personally targeted and yes, I am personally annoyed. No, you’re being […]
I don’t write everyday. Some days it’s hard to know what to say. Some days it’s hard to know what to do other than sit and stare and wait for energy, or motivation, or some kind of return to who I was or who I see myself as. Some days I spend the whole day […]
I am not sure how often people of any age are forced to confront their mortality head on. Perhaps many people go through their entire lives never having to face the fact that until they die, they might die at any given moment. Many people have a vague awareness of it, but barring some catastrophic […]
I had a follow-up MRI on July 2nd. It seemed like the right time to do it since of all the immense and daunting challenges I feel up against right now, Herbert (aka my brain tumor) seems like the least daunting of them all. Plus one doc said every year for a follow up and […]
I’m working on a small project, my dissertation (NBD) and it focuses on how we make meaning online. How we negotiate things that aren’t generated online and don’t live exclusively online using the tools and affordances of this particular medium. I’m interested in this because it is the affordances of this technology among others that […]
It’s always when I’m at my crabbiest when something good happens but also I seem to be at my chipperest when not so good things happen. Hmmm. I should maybe try to be a crabby curmudgeon all the time… A couple of weeks ago I had to go to Washington DC for a conference. Simultaneously […]
The course of our lives change every moment. It sounds flippant to say that every last second of every day matters but it does. Every move we make has ripple effects in our lives and those of others. Our lives can change in a split second. My life has had various seconds where I saw […]
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