Routine

I have a routine for bed time. I am not by nature an organized or regimented person, I don’t go to bed each night at the same time or wake up each morning with the sun. Each night and each morning are a careful balancing act of desires, expectations, and capabilities. Being “in-recovery” or “sick” […]

Like a yo-yo

Sometimes I feel ok. Those times I think, alright if it is spinal fluid seeping out of your nose all day long, you’ll figure it out. Sometimes I feel sick, physically and that makes me sad and that’s not great but I medicate, literally, and then I feel ok. But mostly I feel sad. I […]

I’m goddamn f&%king miserable

I guess life is about expectations. If you set yourself up for success or failure by believing a certain outcome is imminent, if it doesn’t turn out how you anticipated you end up, well – disappointed. That’s why hope is such a dangerous thing. A beautiful thing, but a dangerous thing.  Usually when you start […]

Purely Informational

WARNING: If you’re here for a moment of uplift, inspiring lesson, casual amount of snark, hijinks or hilarity, a heart to heart convo between my typing and your computer screen, some love, some anger, some anything but apathy, you’re in the wrong place. This post is just an update. All 4 of you consistent readers […]

Update on a piss poor attitude and a desire to be a bit less haggard than I am

It was my first morning home from the hospital that I noticed it. A barely there drop of spinal fluid that shot out as I exhaled and sat up. “Aw crap” I thought to myself as I rummaged through the bag of undies and post-surgical instructions I had brought back from the hospital with me. […]

What is there to say

For a while I was writing every day, exploring the inner most avenues of my heart as I navigated a path towards healing (whatever that means). It was something that kept me going, to write it down was to begin to deal with the ongoing ordeal of living with Herbert, or Flo, or really, any […]

Calamities

Today is officially the worst day ever. You were thinking the same thing?! I know, right? It’s the first Monday after the manipulative time gods in the government decided to jack up my already f-ed sleep schedule for whatever reason. And yes, I feel personally targeted and yes, I am personally annoyed. No, you’re being […]