What happened

While social media tends to fill in the gaps of the big moments of our lives a few people have asked what happened so I figured I could write it down here for you. Here’s what happened: I woke up January 8th with a tinge of nausea and a not quite rested head. I washed […]

I die on the table

I am not sure how often people of any age are forced to confront their mortality head on. Perhaps many people go through their entire lives never having to face the fact that until they die, they might die at any given moment. Many people have a vague awareness of it, but barring some catastrophic […]

Supposed to be sleeping…

Ermagerd! Erm gertting brain surgery terrmorrow!!! I’m not supposed to be awake, thinking, feeling, typing. I should be sleeping, preparing for what some have termed “my big day” in the am, but I’m not. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was wide awake. First I sat here in awe of all the […]

“The only way of knowing a person is to love them without hope.”

I was working on a paper last night and I found that quote as I pored through the works of Walter Benjamin, trying to understand memory, love, images, hope. I still don’t understand but I found this quote very powerful. You see this weekend I found myself crumbling under the weight of the unconditional love […]

Smell Ya Later, Herbert!

The toilets in my house are really clean. Like seriously clean. Eat off me, rest your cheek on my seat clean. Disinfected, gloriously shiny and smelling like the janitor just came through clean. Why? because I cleaned them. Because it was mindless. Because it didn’t involve facing anything. I can’t face it. I can’t face […]