I haven’t written anything here in so long. I haven’t felt the need or desire to explain myself, make myself available to scrutiny, to expose myself so that others may weigh in, tell me what to do or how to be. It’s not that I don’t like or appreciate the advice, help and support, it’s […]
When I was in high school for a time I did speech and debate. It’s not what you’re thinking, I wasn’t there to sharpen my argument tactics and skills, I was there to let a part of me out that had a hard time existing in the confines of an upper class high school. I […]
I never, in my relief that my exams were over, even shared that I passed. What a momentous moment of life that felt like! I am ABD, one step closer to the holy grail of being a PhD and while it felt like the culmination of so much, the day came and went rather unceremoniously. The […]
I haven’t known what to say here since my comprehensive exams ended. I made it through the written portion and I defend this monster on Wednesday, so I guess I’ve been preoccupied. Plus I’m getting married and while I am less concerned with the wedding than the marriage I see this as a day where […]
It’s been a while since I have written because I’ve been on self-inflicted radio silence so that I can focus my energies on my upcoming comprehensive exams, arguably the greatest test in getting a PhD, and a test that had I done my research and known existed may have deterred me from this particular career […]
There’s a certain rhythm to chronic pain. It vacillates in a certain way. A moment of relief. A rush of intensity. The booming of the throbbing. Dum. Dum. Dum. Dum. It fits with the ringing in my ears that comes in and out, gets louder and quieter depending on my surroundings. Swish, ring, swish, ring, […]
I decided I needed to reclaim my life. I decided I needed to take control of things. As I have always believed that a strong body leads to a strong mind I set out to relieve my body of it’s weakness and hoped my mind would follow suit. So I went to a gym, CrossFit […]
It’s been 6 weeks since my surgery, 6 weeks from the day that would seal my fate. 6 weeks. 42 days. 1008 hours. And sometimes I even counted down the minutes. Lying there, clutching my head, or the moments, seconds before a sneeze and a laugh, the moment where you can choose to fear, or […]
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