Yesterday was 6 months to the day that I had brain surgery. I spent yesterday afternoon sitting between my parents and one of my closest friends waiting for my turn to be screened. To be screened. To be examined. To be poked. To be prodded. I waited. For an answer. For a resolution. For an […]
I should be asleep, or more likely doing the work that I carry around with me as I lackadaisically wander around my house. I go from room to room, hoping for some kind of inspiration or motivation. I should be working right now, there are things due tomorrow that I am not even close to […]
My mom has had back pain for a long time. It’s caused by a horrible car accident years ago. Someone’s carelessness caused her pain. I know it hurts her each day, but she gets up, grits her teeth and goes on. You can’t discern that she is in pain, not really. Aside from a tense […]
Today’s my birthday and I feel overwhelmed… by love. From the flowers and candies to the immense amounts of outpourings of support and love, I’ve got few words. I am simply in awe of the kindness bestowed upon me. And I made it! I really had no idea what life would be like by this […]
I am strong. I will master my pain. I will get better. I am strong. I will master my pain. I will get better. I am strong. I will master my pain. I will get better. That’s what I tell myself. Every time the pain gets past the 2/10 level where it normally hovers. I […]
I was working on a paper last night and I found that quote as I pored through the works of Walter Benjamin, trying to understand memory, love, images, hope. I still don’t understand but I found this quote very powerful. You see this weekend I found myself crumbling under the weight of the unconditional love […]
The toilets in my house are really clean. Like seriously clean. Eat off me, rest your cheek on my seat clean. Disinfected, gloriously shiny and smelling like the janitor just came through clean. Why? because I cleaned them. Because it was mindless. Because it didn’t involve facing anything. I can’t face it. I can’t face […]
It’s rare that I find myself completely alone throughout the day. Generally Jason comes to visit a good bit or I am at school surrounded by my peers and students. Yesterday was a bit different. I went and taught like every other Thursday but when I arrived at my office hours, despite the pleas of […]
I wrote a version of this blog this morning. It was eloquent, well written and just so funny. It got deleted. Thanks for nothing technology! So I am here again to give you none of the wit and all of the meaning. Okay, maybe some of the wit, but I spent so much of it […]
I’ve been writing for the last few months for 3 reasons. The first was to put words to the confusion, hope, patience, impatience, and struggle I had pouring endlessly out of my heart. The second, to inform those around me about what was going on, to not have to worry who was in or out […]
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