I’ve been writing for the last few months for 3 reasons. The first was to put words to the confusion, hope, patience, impatience, and struggle I had pouring endlessly out of my heart. The second, to inform those around me about what was going on, to not have to worry who was in or out of the loop. The final, and arguably most important reason, was to pay it forward. I was more okay because a few strangers shared with me. One via YouTube, another via a blog. They talked about symptoms, side effects, etc. I wanted to be that resource for someone else coming into this. Maybe my process could make theirs simpler.
So here I sit, in my bathrobe, procrastinating, not getting dressed because my phone dinged an email, from a dear friend sharing a personal struggle. I am patiently searchingly mind and my heart for a response that fits the one she honored me with, I’m learning to be patient with my responses and to let the thoughts flow when they are ready. So for today I decided to be mindful of her, to keep her present in my mind today and see what it evokes. I can abandon my selfish melancholy for a day and send my hope, my energy to someone else. Then as I began the day with that intention set I opened Facebook and this photo was the first post on my stream. It seems the universe is trying to inspire me to shine a bit brighter today. I’m not going to stand in my own way, not today at least.
Peace and love – Samira