I never used to like to walk.” Why walk when you could drive?” I thought. Life was about time, efficiency, forward movement. So I drove, because it was faster, you tire less, you get more done. I didn’t realize that you see less on the way. I haven’t been able to be still of late. […]
It’s been a weird few months to say the least. My health has yo-yoed around almost as much as my personal relationships. So now, as I sit here with the worst vertigo I’ve had in quite some time and on a week that has held great personal stress for me, I thought I’d share what […]
When I was in high school for a time I did speech and debate. It’s not what you’re thinking, I wasn’t there to sharpen my argument tactics and skills, I was there to let a part of me out that had a hard time existing in the confines of an upper class high school. I […]
My dad used to teach me about control through the serenity prayer. He never called it that, but he always told me about it when, as a teenager, I would exclaim about something exasperated by the ways of the world and those I’d mistakenly trusted. Here’s how it goes: And I uploaded it like this […]
I never, in my relief that my exams were over, even shared that I passed. What a momentous moment of life that felt like! I am ABD, one step closer to the holy grail of being a PhD and while it felt like the culmination of so much, the day came and went rather unceremoniously. The […]
I haven’t known what to say here since my comprehensive exams ended. I made it through the written portion and I defend this monster on Wednesday, so I guess I’ve been preoccupied. Plus I’m getting married and while I am less concerned with the wedding than the marriage I see this as a day where […]
I’m working on a small project, my dissertation (NBD) and it focuses on how we make meaning online. How we negotiate things that aren’t generated online and don’t live exclusively online using the tools and affordances of this particular medium. I’m interested in this because it is the affordances of this technology among others that […]
This time last year, on a Saturday, I had a party. Really the only party I’ve ever hosted in my own home, it was a momentous occasion for me. I finally got to trim flowers and use serving trays. It only took a brain tumor for me to finally do what I always wanted, wear […]
I’ve never considered myself chained to medicine, or addicted, or dependent. It’s not that I am opposed to medicine, someone in my position doesn’t have the luxury of being opposed to a tangible necessity in my life. That being said, I’ve always, however foolishly, considered myself one of those people who can make it on […]
There’s a certain rhythm to chronic pain. It vacillates in a certain way. A moment of relief. A rush of intensity. The booming of the throbbing. Dum. Dum. Dum. Dum. It fits with the ringing in my ears that comes in and out, gets louder and quieter depending on my surroundings. Swish, ring, swish, ring, […]
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