It’s been a while since I sat in a dark room scribbling out my ideas for a post in my phone, but here I am, Late at night, updating the Internet. What a life I live! Life has been busy as of late but in a different and potentially more fulfilling way than it has […]
Transition is a funny thing. It is altogether liberating and terrifying at the same time. Given that there are some things that ought to remain constant. The core of who we are, the people we are socialized to be, at some point a percentage of that person is cemented, we become set in our ways […]
My headaches increased in severity around mid March. Given that that was about the beginning of the implosion of my personal life, aside from a few calls to the doctors on call and visits to health forums online I chalked it up to stress. The headaches were substantially less frightening with Jason at the ready […]
They say pain is what makes us stronger. It teaches us. Pushes us. Forces is to grow. What does that mean? Is it true that to appreciate the amazing moments we need to see the horrible ones? That to see beauty we must understand what it is to see what is ugly? Is it physical […]
I’ve found a trend in my writing about letting go of control, and I suppose I thought that meant being totally fine in the face of whatever shit hit me directly in the face. Taking my face-shit contact with a smile. Ta da! There’s that shining good attitude. What I’m realizing now is the grief, […]
I have been trying to hold on to some kind of a resolve. I’m resolved not to be sad about my tumor. I resolved not to let the tumor run my life, it wouldn’t define me. I was resolved not to ever let my moms chronic back pain get her down. I made her yell, […]
Soooooo, obviously this year has been an odd one when taken in the aggregate of my life. It has perhaps contained the worst of the challenges I’ve had in my life since maybe 2005? Not really sure, I’m not sure that I am dramatic enough to rank things based on negativity. That being said, I’ve […]
I’m not really sure where to go from where I am at anymore. Everyday I still contend with pain, I still deal with the fact that I cannot hear. The ringing almost never stops. I still go to doctors more than I used to. I still tackle disability and ability. I still fight my body […]
I have had a lot of moments in the last few weeks where people somehow think that because I’m contemplative that I’m sad. I do, like any other human, on occasion get sad. If I didn’t, well that would just be weird. Then I’d be a weirdo, and I am for sure not a weirdo. […]
It’s been 6 weeks since my surgery, 6 weeks from the day that would seal my fate. 6 weeks. 42 days. 1008 hours. And sometimes I even counted down the minutes. Lying there, clutching my head, or the moments, seconds before a sneeze and a laugh, the moment where you can choose to fear, or […]
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