This time last year, on a Saturday, I had a party. Really the only party I’ve ever hosted in my own home, it was a momentous occasion for me. I finally got to trim flowers and use serving trays. It only took a brain tumor for me to finally do what I always wanted, wear […]
Remember when things were just really easy? Like, you didn’t have a care in the world. You floated from one task to another with the ease and grace of a flower in the wind. No? You don’t? Welp, me neither. So let’s move on. So I have brain surgery, big whoop, right? Yes. Yes it […]
When you’re faced with a medical diagnosis, or even the fear of a medical diagnosis, you get to spend a great deal of your time in a mysterious limbo. Waiting and waiting and waiting for results. For answers. You have tests. Tests. You can’t study for them. You can’t prepare. Your whole life hinges on […]
We’ve all had that feeling, you know the one. You fall in a dream and you wake up with a start bracing against your bed because your stomach actually dropped from the sensation in your dream. It’s a feeling that leaves you waking disoriented and perhaps a bit embarrassed. Your dreams and your reality merged […]
It’s been 6 weeks since my surgery, 6 weeks from the day that would seal my fate. 6 weeks. 42 days. 1008 hours. And sometimes I even counted down the minutes. Lying there, clutching my head, or the moments, seconds before a sneeze and a laugh, the moment where you can choose to fear, or […]
I’m three weeks out from my surgery. It’s funny, I thought once I had surgery the counting would stop. I was attached to a calendar leading up to surgery, I counted down until the moment I was sitting all alone in that hospital gown in that cold pre-surgical bed. Now I count the days of […]
Today’s my birthday and I feel overwhelmed… by love. From the flowers and candies to the immense amounts of outpourings of support and love, I’ve got few words. I am simply in awe of the kindness bestowed upon me. And I made it! I really had no idea what life would be like by this […]
Ermagerd! Erm gertting brain surgery terrmorrow!!! I’m not supposed to be awake, thinking, feeling, typing. I should be sleeping, preparing for what some have termed “my big day” in the am, but I’m not. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was wide awake. First I sat here in awe of all the […]
The toilets in my house are really clean. Like seriously clean. Eat off me, rest your cheek on my seat clean. Disinfected, gloriously shiny and smelling like the janitor just came through clean. Why? because I cleaned them. Because it was mindless. Because it didn’t involve facing anything. I can’t face it. I can’t face […]
I recently joined the Acoustic Neuroma Association as a member in order to gain access to their community because I had heard it had helped many people. Unfortunately I had some trouble accessing their site so in some of my more needy moments, I began looking elsewhere for a virtual brain tumor community to share […]
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