I’m working on a small project, my dissertation (NBD) and it focuses on how we make meaning online. How we negotiate things that aren’t generated online and don’t live exclusively online using the tools and affordances of this particular medium. I’m interested in this because it is the affordances of this technology among others that […]
This time last year, on a Saturday, I had a party. Really the only party I’ve ever hosted in my own home, it was a momentous occasion for me. I finally got to trim flowers and use serving trays. It only took a brain tumor for me to finally do what I always wanted, wear […]
I’ve never considered myself chained to medicine, or addicted, or dependent. It’s not that I am opposed to medicine, someone in my position doesn’t have the luxury of being opposed to a tangible necessity in my life. That being said, I’ve always, however foolishly, considered myself one of those people who can make it on […]
There’s a certain rhythm to chronic pain. It vacillates in a certain way. A moment of relief. A rush of intensity. The booming of the throbbing. Dum. Dum. Dum. Dum. It fits with the ringing in my ears that comes in and out, gets louder and quieter depending on my surroundings. Swish, ring, swish, ring, […]
Recovery is just a son of a bitch. 6 weeks they say… 6 weeks and you’ll be back to your routine… 6 weeks and you can “get back in shape”… 6 weeks and perhaps the pain will subside…. 6 weeks and then… What? Some kind of absolution from the horror that is brain surgery? 6 […]
Remember when things were just really easy? Like, you didn’t have a care in the world. You floated from one task to another with the ease and grace of a flower in the wind. No? You don’t? Welp, me neither. So let’s move on. So I have brain surgery, big whoop, right? Yes. Yes it […]
After my first surgery, the first night in the hospital my mom stayed by my side, jumping for every moan and groan. In that moment she taught me what it is to be a mother. To be relentless for her child. I saw the same gusto in my dad as he asked questions and pored […]
When you’re faced with a medical diagnosis, or even the fear of a medical diagnosis, you get to spend a great deal of your time in a mysterious limbo. Waiting and waiting and waiting for results. For answers. You have tests. Tests. You can’t study for them. You can’t prepare. Your whole life hinges on […]
The course of our lives change every moment. It sounds flippant to say that every last second of every day matters but it does. Every move we make has ripple effects in our lives and those of others. Our lives can change in a split second. My life has had various seconds where I saw […]
Yesterday was 6 months to the day that I had brain surgery. I spent yesterday afternoon sitting between my parents and one of my closest friends waiting for my turn to be screened. To be screened. To be examined. To be poked. To be prodded. I waited. For an answer. For a resolution. For an […]
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