When you’re faced with a medical diagnosis, or even the fear of a medical diagnosis, you get to spend a great deal of your time in a mysterious limbo. Waiting and waiting and waiting for results. For answers. You have tests. Tests. You can’t study for them. You can’t prepare. Your whole life hinges on […]
The course of our lives change every moment. It sounds flippant to say that every last second of every day matters but it does. Every move we make has ripple effects in our lives and those of others. Our lives can change in a split second. My life has had various seconds where I saw […]
It’s been a while since I sat in a dark room scribbling out my ideas for a post in my phone, but here I am, Late at night, updating the Internet. What a life I live! Life has been busy as of late but in a different and potentially more fulfilling way than it has […]
Transition is a funny thing. It is altogether liberating and terrifying at the same time. Given that there are some things that ought to remain constant. The core of who we are, the people we are socialized to be, at some point a percentage of that person is cemented, we become set in our ways […]
My headaches increased in severity around mid March. Given that that was about the beginning of the implosion of my personal life, aside from a few calls to the doctors on call and visits to health forums online I chalked it up to stress. The headaches were substantially less frightening with Jason at the ready […]
I’ve found a trend in my writing about letting go of control, and I suppose I thought that meant being totally fine in the face of whatever shit hit me directly in the face. Taking my face-shit contact with a smile. Ta da! There’s that shining good attitude. What I’m realizing now is the grief, […]
I should be asleep, or more likely doing the work that I carry around with me as I lackadaisically wander around my house. I go from room to room, hoping for some kind of inspiration or motivation. I should be working right now, there are things due tomorrow that I am not even close to […]
When I was recovering in the hospital my boyfriend brought me a sweater, one of his, to hold on to when he couldn’t be there. Recognizing that my family wanted to spend time with me in the hospital and visitor space was limited he bowed out gracefully the first night so that my scared mom […]
I’m not really sure where to go from where I am at anymore. Everyday I still contend with pain, I still deal with the fact that I cannot hear. The ringing almost never stops. I still go to doctors more than I used to. I still tackle disability and ability. I still fight my body […]
I have had a lot of moments in the last few weeks where people somehow think that because I’m contemplative that I’m sad. I do, like any other human, on occasion get sad. If I didn’t, well that would just be weird. Then I’d be a weirdo, and I am for sure not a weirdo. […]
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