It’s funny how when you go through one challenge you think, “if I can just survive this I can survive anything.” And that seems true until the next challenge comes along, catches you off guard and causes you to stumble. It doesn’t seem as severe as previous challenges but seems altogether as difficult. You stumble so hard you’ve almost fallen and you linger on this precipice not able to find your balance. It’s like walking in the dark with an acoustic neuroma – unsteady, precarious, and sometimes scary. So you return to your mantra that got you through, “I am strong, I am powerful, I can get through this.” Over and over again it plays in your head, only stopping for those moments you cautiously talk to God, wondering if he’d listen to someone like you, if he’d help solve your problem.
And then you realize that this is not something a mantra can fix, it’s beyond your control. So you wait patiently for the universe to help you confront your challenges or at least make the answers visible to you. We can’t always see the cure in front of us, but maybe it’s just further in the distance. Health, life, love, they are marathons, and maybe we just can’t see over this hill yet. You try to quiet your mind and the patter of your heart. You learn to quietly live with your challenges and patiently wait to find the strength (or be given the strength) to resolve them.
Faith is a funny thing. It’s hard to know it because it’s mostly invisible. So I put my faith in what I know: love.
Peace and love,